Thursday, September 19, 2013

They're Coming To Take Me Away...

Finally...I start therapy. I did actually have 3 sessions earlier this year, but I don't count that. I was still with Karen and was seeking justification for our poly relationship with Mike. Which, by the way, I got. Haha...

This time, it's me, alone. I broke up with the guy I was seeing yesterday. I'm not ready. I'm still hurt from Karen and Mike both and yet still love them both. I recently went through a very suicidal phase and the ONLY reason I didn't do it was because of my children. I've gone through a lot this year, regarding my health, employment, moving several times, divorce, coming out, and more.

It's all pushed me past a point of being able to handle it mentally and emotionally. I'm maintaining, but I'm not well.

The therapist I've picked specializes in depression, anxiety, divorce and LGBTQ issues. EVERYONE who knows me well has breathed a collective sigh of relief that I've finally taken this step.

So have I.

Saturday, September 14, 2013

One More Thing...

I've kinda just realized that my blog name isn't fitting anymore...LOL. I'm out and proud as a gay man, and I am still indeed a pastor's son...hmmmmm. Gotta give this some thought.

Let my lusts be my ruin...

LMAO. What a difference another year can make.

Things went so far into left field that it's something that still blows my mind. But things are good...great even, on the whole. It could be much, much worse.

So what has happened? Oh not much, except that Karen and I are no longer together. We remain good friends and co-parents, but she is now with...Mike. Swear!! And is in fact getting close to having their unplanned baby together, which was conceived while Mike and I were both with her...

Oh yeah, it got nutty.

So I now live in an alternate universe where my wife and I are separated and she is having a child with the man I fell for...oh yeah, I ended up falling in love with Mike too. He couldn't reciprocate, but he could with Karen. I'll tell you guys all about how that scenario ended up happening. Frankly I still have to go back and see where I left off, it's been so long!

I've recently met someone and am currently very twitterpated over this...guy. I have come out as gay to everyone, family, kids and all. I'll tell all about that too, later.

Am I technically bi? I suppose. But for all intents and purposes...I'm gay.

Anyway, here I am again, but this time, in an alternate universe that is surprisingly good, although not with a significant amount of heartache on my part.

Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it.