Greetings and Salutations...

Well well well...as I live and breath, if it isn't Sean!

Still alive my dear friends, still breathing.

It's now been almost exactly a year since Karen and I broke up. She and Mike are still going strong and very much in love. Their baby is beautiful and healthy. And if I ever truly loved either of them, I have to let them go.

I'm still working on that. I'm much better than I was. I'll possibly go into the details at some point, I don't know. It's painful and still fresh for me and I'm just starting to heal. I don't want to rip the scab off again and again, yanno??

Our kids have adjusted very well, in large part because Karen and I kept a perfect happy front with the kids. We didn't want them to feel anger and animosity between mom and dad. Divorce is hard enough.

In the end, it was the right thing to do. We loved and still love each other...but I'm gay. She deserved more, the passion and connection that I just couldn't always give her.

But it hurts that I couldn't. And it hurts that she moved on so much quicker than I. That part still fucks with me.

Yet I reckon, at the end of the day, I simply got what I deserved. So mote it be.

More to come, hopefully.

Baby, Hold On...

I come from a large musical family. We have many musicians, and just about all of us can sing. (Got a few cousins who can't. They feel left out.)

Anyway, in my family, music is in our hearts and souls. Lyrics too--we also have quite a few poets and songwriters.

Country music is a big part of my roots, but normally I'm a rock kinda guy. Actually, I like all sorts of music...but sometimes, I'm embarrassed to admit, country really does move me. So...I'm an artsy fartsy half fag who likes some hick music. Sue me.

The point is, I love music, and certain songs really speak to me. The song below has been a favorite of mine and Karen's for a long time...but now it takes on a  WHOLE new meaning. Dixie Chicks again...don't know why, but they speak to me.

Gay as shit? Yes. Do I give a fuck? Not anymore.

"Baby Hold On"

Hey, it might never be the same We might never live those days gone by
But we can try

Good morning
Let's kick the babies out of bed How bout you and me instead hanging on
Not up and gone

(Baby, hold on) Let's start this over
(Baby, hold on) We're not much older now
(Baby, hold on) If you still see what I see
Keep holding on
Hold on to me

Baby, it's good to see you smile again
I know we can't escape
So let's pretend
We're someplace else

It's a new day
Let's look at all we've got
It's everything we thought
We ever wanted
It's beautiful

(Baby, hold on)
Let's start this over
(Baby, hold on)
We're not much older now
(Baby, hold on)
If you still see what I see
Keep holding on
Hold on to me

I look across the room and catch you staring at me
And see the love we almost left behind
So lead me by the hand and let's make up
Let's make up for lost time....

Baby hold on...